This dude is in a bit of a pickle.
Ok, I Need Help.
I’ve been married for a year and a half now. I Love my wife and try to do what I can to make her happy. I go see chick flicks, go with her to the mall/zoo/park/dinner… that list is endless it seems. and Many more activity’s that she greatly enjoys.
Ok, not too bad so far. It seems like he wants to make his wife happy, no biggie there.
I work over-night and she works mornings. So after I get home from work, we get to spend about 30 min to see each other in the mornings (which I usually end up making her breakfast) and about 3 hr’s every evening (Which I Always end up cooking Dinner) before I go to work. Every weekend is planed out for what seems like the next 6 months with something she wants to do and there is very little wiggle room for down time. I have up to this point just gone with the flow and done what she wanted but some times I am just so absolutely board out of my mind it’s not even funny. and when that happens I usually get in trouble for doing something stupid or not paying attention.
A bit about me. I’m turning 30 this year and I was diagnosed with Aspergers a little over 4 years ago. Growing up I was picked on a lot and turned to video games to escape. while playing games I loved the people I meet there. I Was never picked on while playing with people online and i was happy. this love of games carried over to my adult life and it is still a big part of who I am.
Ah, some details that we can work with. A mental picture of our friend is forming.
I guess there is one more detail that I need to throw out there. My wife is actually divorced once already from a guy who in almost all aspects would have been my twin. Except I like Girls and he decided he liked guys more… but he was a gamer and played Magic and WoW and all the same things I used to do on a daily basis. and now my Wife associates everything he did and liked with “bad”…
Up until now in my relationship I have basically cut myself off from everything that I enjoyed doing to make my wife happy and not to bring up bad memories.
OK, to summarize this so far:
- dude is a 30 year old aspie
- married to a control freak that he rarely sees
- wife divorced a nerd that turned out to be gay
- wife married an aspie nerd thinking that it would be different this time
- aspie nerd husband has sacrificed his nerdiness to placate his crazy wife
my problem is I still like video games and that probably will never change. As it is now, some mornings (After she leaves for work) I play for a bit before I go to bed so that my wife does not get upset about me “ignoring” her. She does know that I was a big gamer before we got together, and I have tried to broach this topic before, but I just got completely shut out so I didn’t push it any further.
The dude is trying really hard but the siren call of WoW is too much. I sense an ultimatum in the near future.
Sorry for the long rant up to this point, but here’s where my question begins: Should I try to convince her to get involved in some of the games that I really enjoy playing? or at the very least not be upset if I play every now and then even if she is not directly involved?
You know that someone is at the end of their rope if they’re on the WoW forums asking for marriage help, but I will draw from the depths of my wisdom a concise answer for you, my friend; cut this chick out of your life. She’s obviously damaged goods, and for good reason at that. Her previous husband not only ignored her for epics and to drop some big hands in MTG, he left her for a guy. That would leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth. It isn’t like she didn’t know what she was getting when she saw you for the first time, right?
I’m sure you knew she had some issues before you got married, but you chose to go forward with it anyways and now you can’t grind dailies or do pet battles because whenever she’s home, she wants to have sex with you just to make sure you aren’t gay like her ex. If you got her to play WoW, you would be under constant assault about why you have a bunch of men on your friends list, why all your characters are men (so you can look at their man parts, duh) and why everyone in your LFR group is a dude. It is a lot more trouble than its worth in my opinion, so do the merciful thing and return this crazy woman back into the dating pool.