Dear Ms Pudding,

I have expressed my love to you in the past before, but the yearning in my groin aches each and every longing day I don’t hear your voice in the announcer pack. The only reason of my existence in the hon world, is to play to hear your sweet succulent voice during my double taps and annhilations.

If you held up 11 roses in front of the mirror, you would see the 12 most beautiful things in the world.

Have a great day.

Your one, and only lover:

Turtleboats.