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Poundfist camping leads to a sad realization

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Once upon a time, a man saw a rare mount in WoW. He thought it was really cool and wanted one for himself.

My white whale.

I used to camp rares on my shaman in Everquest. I’d spend dozens of hours at a time for months to get a ring or a rare drop for a quest. I was also in my early 20s with the constitution of an elephant and the caffeine threshold of a Mountain Dew addict. I camped spawns in FFXI; sniper rings sold like hotcakes, bro. These days, I like taking naps.

Flash forward 15 years, and I’m sitting in a group of perhaps 300 people on my server. There have been CONFIRMED REPORTS that Poundfist has started spawning on other servers. This is being reported via Twitter, and the results are being uploaded to a Google document that everyone can view to verify that, indeed, the mythical Poundfist is spawning and that the acquisition of the mount is nigh. There are pictures of large groups of people sitting on their ogres like nerdy Mûmakil.

I inform my wife that I will more than likely be spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer this weekend. She lets me know that that is no problem, play to my heart’s content; she thinks I’ll do what I normally do, which is play for a while then retire to the couch. Little does she know I will still be sitting in the same position 24 hours from now.

Poundfist supposedly spawns 48 hours after a server reset and can take over 120 hours to materialize at one of numerous spawn points in Gorgrond. I chose to make my stand at a central location, along with hundreds of other people. The minutes go by slowly, partly due to the incomprehensible conversations taking place all around me in multiple languages, and also because I’m already getting tired.

For the first time in my life, I’m checking Twitter. I have a window open tracking #poundfist and the google doc. To my undying shame, I’m refreshing Twitter like a selfie-taking millenial.

Midnight comes and goes, and the racist banter taking place in general chat intensifies. The wheat is being separated from the chaff as the normal people go to bed and the loseriest of the losers become the majority. As a longtime MMOer, none of this is too shocking to me, but I cringe at what a less jaded player must think.

I give up and crawl in bed for a few hours of fitful sleep. Visions of a bunch of racist kids killing the mob while I’m laying down run through my head, denying me the rest I need to summon the willpower and rejoin them in my quest for a meaningless mount in a meaningless game. Cognizant of my place in the universe, I sit back down in front of the computer and check Twitter: no spawn on our server yet.

I spend the day listening to music and watching the screen looking for someone to say “he’s up!”  People are trolling by reporting false spawns, causing massive migrations between spawn points as several hundred people rush to get there because as soon as he spawns, despite the best efforts of well meaning people to coordinate some kind of system where everyone has a chance to get the mount, Poundfist is going to melt like a snowcone in August as soon as he pops.

I begin to wander between spawn points, mainly out of boredom, but also because I don’t trust the people manning them to report a spawn. It makes a certain amount of sense not to, because they could either get lagged out and miss the spawn and also because the more people there are, the faster he’s going to die. In order to get the mount, all you have to do is attack Poundfist one time. The well meaning people I was speaking of earlier have been encouraging people to only attack with their fists, not spells, and for people to crowd control him so people can come from across the zone to get their hits. Nobody is fooled.

It is during one of these forays between spawn points that I happen to see a little train of players moving very surreptitiously. Always quick to detect someone potentially fucking me over, I follow them.

At this point, I’ve spent a combined thirty hours or thereabouts camping this mob, which is about 29 hours longer than I’ve spent camping something since Leapin’ Lizzie. I know that there are many people that still have not acquired their mount, and I feel bad for you guys, but for me, I was about at my wits end. I was going to make one or two more circuits of the spawn points and throw in the towel.

As I follow this group of perhaps twenty people, my thoughts are wandering. I’m in the middle of a particularly nice stream of self-degrading missives when I see a big, ugly ogre in the distance: HE’S UP.

My heart rate instantly quickens and I become completely alert. As ridiculous as it sounds, my body dumps adrenaline into my bloodstream over the appearance of a fucking mob. Poundfist’s health is already relatively low, and I know that I’ll make it in time to get my hit in, but I already know that anyone not already here has no chance of getting it. I dutifully type into general that “HE’S UP HE’S UP”. Others are doing the same, and the chat channel is erupting into a cacophony of ‘wtf where omg’ and ‘wtf my comp lagging wtf’.

I, and perhaps 50 others, loot our mounts. I am shaking with excitement, yet in the back of my mind, I am also a little sad. This has been a very draining experience for me. The cloud of nostalgia that covered my recollection of all the days wasted in Everquest  evaporates and leaves me with an unfettered view of my own loserhood.

I have my mount, but I’ll never get back my pride.

New WoW Achievement

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Purified by Fire – Stand in any damaging void zones for 10 consecutive seconds.

Don’t Worry, I Got This! – Queue as a tank spec while in DPS spec and gear.

Bio Break – Finish an entire fight with auto-attacks as 95% of your total damage dealt.

I’m On a Budget – Finish an entire fight with no gems or enchants in any piece of gear.

Pre-emptive Strike – As a non-tank specialization, pull a boss before a ready check is performed.

Sorry I’m Busy! – While a boss is pulled, be a minimum of 100 yards away from the raid group.

Sorry I’m Busy, Extra Credit – Achieve “Sorry I’m Busy!” while sitting in any major city.

Huntarded – Complete the first 1 minute of any boss fight while Aspect of the Pack is active.

PVP Power! – Defeat any boss while wearing PVP equipment in each slot.

The Leech – Complete one of the following:
– Complete an entire raid without doing any damage as a DPS specialization.
– Complete an entire raid without healing anyone as a Healing specialization.
– Complete an entire raid without gaining aggro on a single mob as a Tank specialization.

Screw you guys, I’m going home! – Leave an instance group in the first 20 seconds of a boss fight.

No, He’s Mine! – As a tank specialization, taunt a boss every 15 seconds or less for the duration of the fight.

No, He’s Mine! Part 2 – While not in a tank specialization, taunt a boss every 15 seconds or less for the duration of the fight.

Who Did That?! – Activate Bloodlust or Heroism while not in combat.

WHY WON’T YOU DODGE?! – Accept a battle resurrection 3 times in a single boss fight.

What Happened? – Cause a boss to enrage.


As with most dungeon meta achievements, you get a mount as a reward for completion:


Big Flopping Last Night In OKC

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Not content with losing on their home court to Clutch City, the Thunder resorted to playing Hack-Asik in the fourth quarter.

Big Omer responded by hitting 8 of 12 and cementing the victory after James Harden went 7 for 7 from downtown.


Despite OKC losing Westbrook and their chances of reaching the Finals dropping by the minute, Derek Fisher and Kevin Martin made up for his lost offense with this stunningly beautiful play:




Two flops for the price of one!



Why Do MMOs Appeal To Aspergians & OCD-Types?

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Case in point, this dude.

 OCD cost me $2000 in this game. My sad story.

1 Human Mage
I’ve played since December 2004. Yet, during these years, I’d play for a few months and quit, not even a few months, and rebuy the game. I had this extreme OCD where I couldn’t have faith in my decisions, and constantly, and I mean constantly, re-rolled my characters. I leveled about 500 characters from 1-26ish, deleted them because I wanted to be a different race or class for some reason, or because they felt cursed.

This process led to me going a bit mad, and I would spam the forums trolling, simply for an outlet for my frustration, and get banned. I did this for like 5 accounts. I’ve also gotten 6 accounts with MoP, only one which I use.

Anyway I finally got a character to max level in 2011, and I was so excited, despite having to use over 30 restores after deleting him. Anyway I learned about race/server transfers and ended up spending literally $2000 on them. I’d go to a PvP server to do world PvP, then I found it pointless, going to RP, and back, etc. Yes it is a severe problem for me.

It has caused me so much frustration, I just wanted to finally play this game and get some high level characters that I don’t change for a year or more, and enjoy the content like everyone else. I’ve finally had some success, but I still get urges to trash everything.

Just wanted to share my story incase anyone else suffered through this. I’m finally making some progress and I love every minute I can play WoW and work towards progressing in the game and making friends.

That’s the other problem, I make friends quite easily, but I get the urge to server transfer and thus hide from all friends. I’ve lost about 20 people this way I could’ve made friends with, and just like in real life where I move every 1-2 years to a new city, it has caused me painful loneliness.

Maybe this will get deleted, fair enough. I just wanted to share my story with the world for two reasons. One, to make you feel better about your lot in life and WoW, and two, to see if anyone else has similar stories.

Every few weeks I think of all that wasted money and it makes me sad, thinking all the games I could’ve bought for it. But I realize now that regret is a pointless emotion. I’ve always wanted to be a respected member of the forum community like an MvP who contributes constructively, but my condition made it so that I would often use these forums to troll people, simple because it provided me some respite from my painful experiences.

Everything here is true, I could even show receipts proving the money I’ve spent… or the three WoW game classic boxes and manuals I’ve thrown out over there years. I’m not rich either, this money is the only entertainment money I have had, but at least I feel glad to have supported Blizzard, a game company I love.

I wasn’t sure if I should’ve posted this at all, but it feels better to share it to people, like this awful secret that has been festering inside me. I really wish I could’ve raided, PvP’d, even roleplayed in classic, TBC, Wrath, etc, but because of the way things were for me, it wasn’t an option. I wish I had those achievements other people playing since 2004 have, but alas, such is fate…


– WW

Jay Wilson Is Still Fucking Up Diablo 3

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Our favorite game developer drops some big info on pvp in D3:

“it isn’t in, it won’t be in for a long time, what we were working on sucked, aren’t you thankful?”

The biggest joke ever keeps on delivering, but at least you’ll be able to duel the 14 other people that still play!

We’ve been working really hard on the features, content, and systems for PvP in Diablo III and I wanted to take some time to provide an update on where we’re at. Of course, our goal has been to release our Team Deathmatch mode as soon as possible, but we don’t want to put anything out there before it’s ready. Right now, Team Deathmatch isn’t yet where we want it to be, and I want to provide some insight into where we are at in the development process.

The State of PvP

Our original intent with PvP for Diablo III was to provide more formal support for the dueling community that existed in Diablo II. We wanted to give players some kind of structure that would not only make it easier for you to duel with one another, but also allow you to have duels that were team-based. This is how our Team Deathmatch mode emerged, and it’s been instrumental in making a lot of improvements to Diablo III. But in continuing to develop this mode, playtest it, and put it in front of other developers within the company, we’ve found that it falls short of our expectations for a high-quality Blizzard experience.

Putting people into an arena and letting them hurl fireballs and swing crazy-ass swords at one another always has an element of fun to it.  I imagine it’s no surprise to anyone reading this blog that people like battling each other in video games, so if you had the chance to play our Team Deathmatch at one of the BlizzCons where we featured it you might not understand why we’d say that we don’t feel the current mode is good enough.


Well, Here’s Why…

For us it comes to a few issues, one of which is depth.  Simply fighting each other with no other objectives or choices to make gets old relatively quickly.  We’ve brought a lot of people in to try out Team Deathmatch and, while some found it entertaining, most of our testers didn’t feel like it was something they’d want to do beyond a few hours. Without more varied objectives, or very lucrative rewards, few saw our current iteration as something they’d want spend a lot of time in.

Another is class balance. Like Diablo II, Diablo III was designed to be a PvE-first kind of game, where we never compromised on player abilities in the name of future PvP balance.  We want to be able to carry over as many of the crazy runes, items, and skills as possible, with their crazy effects, and alter them as little as possible. In a casual PvP mode, something equivalent to a WoW Battleground, this would be fine, but Team Deathmatch felt very hardcore, and it put a laser focus on class balance in a way that we didn’t think would be good for the game as a whole.

Certainly, we’ve gotten a lot of benefits from the development of Team Deathmatch, especially in the areas of controls and combat model tuning, but at this point we don’t believe it’s the experience we feel it needs to be in order to ship, so we will be shelving it for now and exploring other options.


What’s Next

So, our core problem is that our Team Deathmatch mode doesn’t feel like a great addition to Diablo III. It’s not up to the quality that Blizzard gamers expect or that we feel you deserve, and it doesn’t really fit with our goals for the rest of the game. The question now is what are we going to do about it?

First and foremost, if our original goal was to support dueling, then we’re not achieving that goal very well if we don’t actually give players a way to duel in-game. You’ve been asking us for dueling for a while, so we’re going to add it to the game soon. Dueling is currently scheduled to release with patch 1.0.7, which is set to hit sometime after the new year. (We’ll be providing details about that feature very soon, so stay tuned.)

But as I mentioned before, we are going back to the drawing board on a new replacement for Team Deathmatch, something that feels more appropriate for Diablo III.  And as we stated previously, regardless of when we release it, it’ll be a free addition to the game. Team Deathmatch provided us with the foundation that we needed and served us well. Hell, it may even still be added in some form in the future. For now, though, we’re going to first be looking at new modes that play up to the strengths of the character classes, focus on objectives beyond just defeating other players, and possibly even integrate PvE elements and rewards.


Keepin’ It Real

We wanted to be upfront and honest with the community about where this particular project is at. It’s certainly not ideal, and I know some of you got to play Team Deathmatch at BlizzCon and are probably thinking, “It seemed good enough! Just give us that.” I also know how I feel whenever a game or game feature I’m looking forward to is delayed, but, as with all things Blizzard, we want to be sure that the features we add to Diablo III are actually worth it and will make the game better, and PvP is no exception.

While we don’t have any further information to share right now about our plans for additional PvP modes, we look forward to posting more about dueling in the next few days.

Thanksgiving 2012

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It is that special time of year again; the nationwide sacrifice of 45 million turkeys to the god of genocide.

Eat up, fuckers.

With that being said, here are the things I’m thankful for this year:

  • My wife
    Another year of putting up with my bullshit. How and why I have no clue, but it is impressive.
  • Jay Wilson
    He destroyed one of the greatest franchises in gaming and saved me a lot of time by not waiting for Diablo 4
    Made me realize that anything that promises to not suck is going to be the worst game of all time.
  • Mists Of Pandaria
    Finally gave me a farm to plant juicycrunch carrots on.
  • Mitt Romney
    Showed the world that 48% of this country is unequivocally stupid
  • Barack Obama
    Showed the world that 52% of this country is smarter than the average evangelical.
  •  My friends
    They bought D3 & SWTOR yet they still talk to me for some reason.
  • My family
    They have stopped calling me a nerdy loser for the most part. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME.
  • The proclivity of politicians to eat corn dogs
    The pictures of them eating them in extremely suggestive ways have made me quite a bit of cash. Thanks, google images!
  • Brazil/The Phillipines/Eastern Europe/Australia
    Without any of these fine places, my gaming experience would be significantly reduced. Keep on gaming, fellas. Dota2 would suck without you!


World War Z

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I am going to save myself a little dignity and forego a huge rant about zombie fiction purity, but I will say this:

What a fucking travesty. These aren’t even ‘fast’ zombies, they look like they’re fucking Usain Bolt. Standard doomsday movie tropes, no preservation of the structure of the book, I hope this movie bombs and bombs hard.

Man Killed For His M:TG Deck

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Sources say that the victim, Sean Dugas, drew all Moxes and Black Lotus on his opening hand the game before he was murdered.

I would have killed the fucker too.

William Cormier, 31, is accused of beating Dugas to death Aug. 27 at his home in Pensacola.

Dugas’ cards, valued at somewhere between $25,000 and $100,000, ultimately were sold in Pensacola, Georgia and Tennessee, police said.

Dugas’ body was taken to Winder, Ga., where it was found Oct. 8, buried in a plastic container in the backyard of a home. Now held in Georgia, William Cormier and his twin brother, Christopher, will be returned to Pensacola to face charges in the homicide.