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  • The Life of A Thirtysomething Adolesc...

    As I was mowing my yard today, a series of events occurred that prodded me to write this. My neighbor on one side has 3 kids. He was attempting to wash his car and was consta [...]

    Read more
  • Blizzard Cancels Blizzcon 2012

    Trouble in paradise? We’re also heavily focused on getting Diablo III, Mists of Pandaria, and Heart of the Swarm into players’ hands as soon as possible. In light of ou [...]

    Read more
  • This Is Who I Am, This Is What I Stan...
    This Is Who I Am, This Is What I Stand For: SW:TOR

    Let there be no mistake.   Swimming, sitting in chairs. Get to work, slob ass Bioware. Share this:

    Read more
  • State of The Union Address: The Day A...
    State of The Union Address: The Day After

    As the rain prefaces the mushroom, Obama prefaces the morons. The standard Teabagger/suburban middle age white guy responses: I didn’t watch it either, but it’s [...]

    Read more
  • This Guy Is Going Over to the Dark Si...
    This Guy Is Going Over to the Dark Side-SW:TOR

    Dude flails at the game. Dude is 37. Dude is madder than he ever has been before in his life because his flaling.   Enjoy. My sad, whiney story | Today , 04:11 PM [...]

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  • Marauder/Sentinel PVP-SWTOR
    Marauder/Sentinel PVP-SWTOR

    This guy makes a very cogent, rational argument about some of the minor deficiencies that the class faces once in a blue moon. Also, note the author’s disdain for hyper [...]

    Read more
  • More Straws, Camel Hairs-SW:TOR
    More Straws, Camel Hairs-SW:TOR

    I am long straw-making companies and camels. overwhelming proof of intentional FACTION imbalaning on some DEVS part .. imho … | Today , 04:27 PM MY LA [...]

    Read more
  • Why I Can’t Stand Conservatives
    Why I Can’t Stand Conservatives

    They all look like the old, bald, rich white dudes that have either fired me, laid me off, called the cops on me for smoking weed, or tried to come on to me in a bathroom. Ho [...]

    Read more
  • The Final Straw-SW:TOR
    The Final Straw-SW:TOR

      The final straw | Today , 04:29 PM Bought this game to play with my kid. His computer meets the specs yet it crashes to desktop, then the final straw. [...]

    Read more
  • NASA Fed Up With 2012 Morons, Goes Bi...
    NASA Fed Up With 2012 Morons, Goes Big

    I love it. It seems that NASA gets just as pissed off at the idiots spamming Facebook with 2012 doomsday posts and issues an asteroid-sized smackdown to the simpletons. this [...]

    Read more
KEEP IN TOUCH

The Life of A Thirtysomething Adolescent

Jan29
2012
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

As I was mowing my yard today, a series of events occurred that prodded me to write this.

My neighbor on one side has 3 kids. He was attempting to wash his car and was constantly interrupted by said kids wanting shit.

“Dad, will you do x?”
“Dad, can I do y”
“Dad, z!”

It took him almost 4 hours to do something that I could do in 2, and it didn’t look like he was having much fun.

I am 32 years old. I have been married for 11 years. I don’t have any kids. My ‘office’ in my home is full of comic books, toys, Judas Priest posters, books, and photos that I have taken.

My wife and I take a nice vacation every couple of years where we spend a relatively lot of money and it doesn’t really matter; the only people we’re responsible for are ourselves.

Aside from owning a home and working a little bit more, I more or less live the same life I did when I was 18; I play video games, I listen to music, I slack around. I go to sleep late and wake up late. We go to various events from concerts to sports at the drop of a hat.

I have a lot of ‘online friends’. Many of them are in the same age demographic that I am. They’re all the same. They go to work, they pay their taxes, they go home and they get on the computer. They are, almost to a man: white, married professionals without any kids. There is the odd non-white dude or the guy with some kids, but by and large we could be cut from the same cloth.

I have read a few articles before that go into deeper detail about the pussification of the American male, and I use that phrase completely without self-loathing. I love my life, I’m totally content with what I am and the fact that to a large number of men I’m an impotent wuss that would rather jackoff to my newest McFarlane toy than knock my wife up.

OK? I get it.

However, the hostility towards guys like me seems more like envy.

Case in point: my neighbor on the other side of me is in his 40s, married with two kids. In July of 2010 I come rolling up big in the brand new Camaro and this guy gives me a look like he busted me watching his wife take a shower through a telescope. Of course, afterwards he’s like “Man, bad ass ride!” and so forth, yet there it was.

When I come flopping out of the front door at 1pm on Sunday with bedhead still  to grab the paper or pay the pizza delivery guy, and he’s out sweating his ass off working on his 10 year old junker, you’re damn right I feel content. Content in my supposed loserhood.

I guess the moral of this story is this: don’t hate on us nerds just because you’re unhappy with your life. Live vicariously through us, like we did through you for 5 minutes back in high school before we realized that underneath the blustering, macho facade, you really did want to play Dungeons & Dragons with us, you were just too scared to admit it.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged childfree, computer games, Dungeons & Dragons, Editorial, jocks, Judas Priest, kids, McFarlane, my kids are ruining my life, nerds, pussification, real life, should I have kids?, thirtysomething, unhappy, with
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Blizzard Cancels Blizzcon 2012

Jan25
2012
3 Comments Written by Painkiller

Trouble in paradise?

We’re also heavily focused on getting Diablo III, Mists of Pandaria, and Heart of the Swarm into players’ hands as soon as possible. In light of our jam-packed schedule, we’ve decided to hold the next BlizzCon in 2013.

So, we have had a shakeup on the Diablo 3 team with designers leaving, a core system change, and 12 years of development coming down to a rushed release sometime this year and event that has been put on for the last 6 years or so where nerds spend almost $200 to listen to shitty bands and Jay Mohr bloviate being postponed.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, yet I cannot help but think that there may be something amiss in Azeroth.

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged 2012, 2013, blizzard, Blizzcon, canceled, designer leaving, diablo 3, Starc, system change, World of Warcraft
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This Is Who I Am, This Is What I Stand For: SW:TOR

Jan25
2012
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

Let there be no mistake.

 

Swimming, sitting in chairs. Get to work, slob ass Bioware.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Bioware, day/night cycle, extreme nerdiness, itting in chairs, playable races, space combat, Star Wars: The Old Republic, swimmings
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State of The Union Address: The Day After

Jan25
2012
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

As the rain prefaces the mushroom, Obama prefaces the morons.

The standard Teabagger/suburban middle age white guy responses:

I didn’t watch it either, but it’s recorded on the DVR.

I preferred to spend a quiet evening with my wife and kids, but, maybe late tomorrow, after a double dose of Nexium, and a few dozen antacid tablets, I will watch it, hopefully without vomiting my guts out..

0bama is absolutely nauseating, no matter what he talks about.

A complete disgrace to the US Presidency, and a disgrace to all humanity….
As a pair of hard left Communists to the core, Mao and Stalin would be embarrassed that they didn’t go so far to the left as 0bama does today.

Just be glad that this will be his last State of The Union Address, and a Republican President will be delivering it next year.

 

Then we have the really weird guys. You know, the conspiracy/Illuminati/NWO types that love to talk about how much gold and silver they have hoarded in their basement, how much ammunition they have stacked on top of their tattered, dog-eared copy of the Turner Diaries, and how they have enough canned food to last one man (and his future harem, his future army, and everyone that needs help except a Muslim) 600 years. I LOVE these guys!

Veterans Job Corps = National Police Force.

All I heard was:

I am going to destroy the Constitution
I am going to continue perpetual war
I am going to continue supporting tbe Federal Reserve
I will continue to act like a dictator and bypass Congress whenever I feel like it.
Welcome to the New World Order

Fucking Master Lock bringing jobs back to America…Let me guess… they got the government contract to lock the gates & cells at FEMA camps…

Typical lowlife lying marxist POS. Looks like I’m now on the DHS list for re-education camp if Commander Zero gets a second term.

Blah, Blah ,Blah.  I’m starting to believe the ” Rothschilds” , are day walkers, in Monkey suits!!! (ed.-wtf?????)

Master lock…that’s high tech? Well I guess the business demand is here…locking people out of their houses once foreclosed…all those empty prisons and FEMA camps need plenty of locks…when SHTF we are gonna need plenty of locks to hide our silver and gold in lock boxes buried in our yard

“Bama gwine pay fur my gas, an my morkguge”

 

I could go on, but I am rapidly losing the will to live.

 

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged ammunition, Barack Obama, conspiracy, FEMA, gay republicans, gold, Illuminati, Muslim, National Police Force, NWO, silver, State of The Union, Tea Party, Turner Diaries, white slavery
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This Guy Is Going Over to the Dark Side-SW:TOR

Jan24
2012
2 Comments Written by Painkiller

Dude flails at the game. Dude is 37. Dude is madder than he ever has been before in his life because his flaling.

 

Enjoy.

My sad, whiney story | Today , 04:11 PM
Soooo… this is my first MMO ever, I’m a fan of Star Wars, been all my life so I wanted to get invloved with this game as a fan.
Well after getting to level 32 looks like its over.
I have spent 30,000 credits buying stims, medpaks and repairs only to be defeated time after time by the security guard prior to getting to Angral.
Now I have 1500 credits and have reached a level of frustration that I have never felt in my 37 years on this earth.
I’m all for a good hard/challenging fight, no doubts there but why make it so damn difficult as to wipe ones entire line of credits and basiclly ruin the game.
Make a enemy with a HP that is sooo excessive to my 6000 or so, more than double, and the game has to end there.
It’s been 2 days and at least 15 tries and I still have to get thru Angral.
I have read on here where people blow right thru these guys with one try and 80% of their health remaining, I guess I’m one of the idiots (im sure alot r gonna agree).
Same thing with the jumping to get to datacrons, IMO, with no MMO or PC type gaming history to me these type games are really not a “jumping” type game.
So, what I want to ask is can I just skip this part and try to go and level up and rebulild my credits?
Will I still have a stroy line to follow?? I doubt it.
But what can you do when you have been wiped out of credits and can no longer buy med paks and stims and repairs??
Thanks for listening to me whine.
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Marauder/Sentinel PVP-SWTOR

Jan13
2012
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

This guy makes a very cogent, rational argument about some of the minor deficiencies that the class faces once in a blue moon.

Also, note the author’s disdain for hyperbole, anecdotal evidence, and outrageous claims.

Nerf Sentinel/Marauder RIGHT NOW | Yesterday , 11:28 AM
Haha, got your attention AND a forum first. Nobody EVER writes those words. Why? Cause we suck. Medium armor is squishy, plus we got no stealth. Well what about knockbacks for Void Star and Hutt ball? None. A pull towards since we’re melee dps? None. How about some hard CC? Oh we have a 3 second channel and…that’s it. Surely you have some AOE cc right? Sure! It doesn’t knockback and slow/root and it’s only 6 seconds and its a MEZ not a stun, but yeah we have ONE. Well you guys must do sick DPS right? I mean you don’t have operatives that are hitting for 5 times your max crit or anything right? Oh wait yes we do, our DPS blows! Ops, Sniper, Merc, powertech, commando, scoundrel, gunslinger all FACEROLL their way to far more damage either from stealth (time on target…) or from range…time on target.

So what exactly is the point of these classes? I hit 50 a couple of days ago and am not geared up, but let me say when I posted this same thing back at 25 I was ASSURED that once I hit 50 all would be well.

Well it ain’t well, not even close. I have ONE ability that can crit over 2k AND it is NOT instant. My stupid toon starts to pull her sabers back and if they move behind me or too far forward or I move or do anything else it stops the action. ***? Seriously? Are you kidding me in a game with all these instant casts and AOE’s that do as much or MORE damage on multiple targets out of heavy armor I can’t even swing my two gosh darned sabers to do my best hit?

If you are going to say get geared up first well GT FO!!! People who aren’t even 50 do EPIC damage and you’re saying I have to be geared to the 9′s to be competitive with sub-50′s of some of the OP classes wth?

Gunslingers and Commando’s can easily top damage charts at level 15 and I had to wait until 40 – 50 to BEGIN to break into the top 3? OFC, level 50 gunslingers routinely hit 300k+ (most I’ve ever hit was 185k). Seriously, people will say oh you need to pick and choose situations. Well ***? I see all these other classes just faceroll their way to victory. So if you are going to write a L2P post you need to get out UNLESS you yourself show that you have a sent/marauder with screenshots proving you REGULARLY dominate. If not you are just a troll and need to go back to playing your operative, sorceror, mercenary or whatever faceroll class.

Also I’m COMPLETELY backloaded. You know how everyone complains about how sick it is that ops/scoundrels OPEN with a monster crit (10k? ***?!!!!) and knockdown (more cc **** I’m lol my class sucks so bad). Yeah, well my class has to be beating on people for a bit before the big damage comes up. I’ve learned my sole way to play, is to hit a ton with my instant little hits that build focus and wait until some kindly teamate uses a stun so I can unload. I generally save my aoe mez to get out of nasty situations and I have to think about it as I only have that and force camoflauge to save my squishy as hell behind.

Meanwhile I’m getting focused down from range by massive DPS slow COMBO’s, massive AOE’s that out damage me coming from a HEAVY ARMOR at RANGE, guys popping from STEALTH and knocking me on my face and juicing me for easily 8k before I get up because of course my ONE CC breaker is on cooldown from the approximately 5,000,000,000 CC’s in this game.

I’m seriously considering re-rolling a scoundrel at this point because this is just ridiculous. I fight guys in warzones who are a good 7 levels below me and can kill me by kiting and CC use and there’s nothing I can do because I have ONE, count it ONE way to change my or my enemies position. LOL, meanwhile the face roll commando and every other class has pull towards or knockbacks etc. I can’t believe how incredibly bad my class sucks. Yes, I can beat people but only if I catch them alone and they are a channel class and/or they don’t understand proper use of CC or have it on CD.

Give us a boost FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. We either need more CC, more cc breakers, or way WAY more DPS. We are most definitely not the best single target DPS in the game unless you know everyone ignores us and lets us just go to town. In those RARE instances where I’m not focused or AOE’d to death I do well. Same if I have a pocket healer, then again don’t ALL classes do well if other classes ignore them or they have pocket heals? Seriously Sents/Marauders need a boost asap.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Marauder, pvp, Sentinel, Star Wars: The Old Republic, sucks, y am i getting raped
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More Straws, Camel Hairs-SW:TOR

Jan11
2012
2 Comments Written by Painkiller

I am long straw-making companies and camels.

overwhelming proof of intentional FACTION imbalaning on some DEVS part .. imho … | Today , 04:27 PM
MY LAST STRAW … i had overlooked or excused or hoped a fix was coming for the list below
but i guess this is my hair that breaks the camels back !!!!

EMPIRE SI – ELEMENTAL DAMAGE / REPUBLIC COUNSULAR – KENETIC

I DO NOT HAVE to say that there is about a 20% difference in damage given / received
elemental ignores armor – kenetic has to go through it loses damage !!! I MEAN REALLY ??

I was wondering how lessor equipted SI’s were outdamaging me in WZ’s I am Rank 61 Valor and battlemaster

screw this game yall have fun … im walking away until summer ill look back in and see if they cared enough to balance the faction and hopefully management holds some DEVS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS BLANTANT ABUSE of POWER IN DESIGNING THE FACTION THEY WANTED TO PLAY to have all sorts of SUBTLE ADVANTAGES!!!!! the EVIDENCE IN ITS ENTIREITY is OVERWHELMING when looked at from a distance other than one at a time

JUST SAD …

and REALLY LEAVES A BAAADDDDDD TASTE in my mouth for a company I have LOVED FOR YEARS AND YEARS

so add it to the list of things that severely imbalance the so called “mirror” classes

things like the following:

1.) trooper mortar volley travel time verses BH death drom above instant!!!

2.) consular animation delays verses their counterpart instant !!!

3.) convert the trooper pool of energy to BH energy BH has 4% more -
same for another classes energy i forget which one

4.) IA can do dirty kick on the run without stopping while Smuggler has to stop perform action then move

5.) Ever wonder WHY it always seems empire starts with lead on alderaan warzone?
two turrets already pointing at republic ship and do not have to turn to begin firing not to mention the BIGGEST KICKER OF ALL .. the dumb DEVS ALLOW THE EMPIRE TO TICK QUICKER THAN THE REPUBLIC … FILM IT FRAPS IT YOURSELF … try and figure out how empire one caps and republic two caps and forst 5 secs empire ahead … REALLY .. I MEAN REALLY!!!! W T F

6.) force way has animation that makes republic jump up then come down before it goes off
empires is instant … very rough across the bridge in voidstar and in huttball

7.) empires knockbacks are farther

8.) instant lightening no travel time … rocks have longer animation til impact

9.) IA gets gets 30 secs less on its cc grenade cooldown than smuggler

10.) electrocute ignores resolve bar and even dodge it gets through everything … force stun DOES NOT!!!

11.) smuggler sabo charge requires again you guessed it longer period of time .. IA instant!!!!

12.) IA backstab instant – Smuggler has animation to pull out shotgun to deal with !!!!

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR CLASS BALANCE JUST FACTION BALANCE AND TRUE MIRRORED CLASSES AND NOW FOR THE DEVS THAT IMHO INTIONALLY DESIGNED THESE ADVANTAGES INTO THE GAME TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE AND SOMEONE FROM UPPER MANAGEMENT PREFERABLE THE CEO TO PUBLICLY APOLIGIZE FOR ALLOWING IT TO HAPPEN

any reasonable person that understands probability KNOWS beyond a shadow of a doubt there a far too many “oopies and overlooks ” to be beniegn

THIS WAS INTENTIONAL WITH MALICE no other reason ALL THE ADVANTAGES GO TO EMPIRE !!!

have fun ill look in from time to time and see if they did anything about it
im going to take a break

if you are staying in this game and PvP you SHOULD DEMAND THE ABOVE BE FIXED and a REASON GIVEN as to way it was allowed in the first place and HOW SO MANY BETA TESTERS MISSED these GLARING ISSUES … i guess they were just playing and not testing

/wave

ps im mad and didnt proof read and im not the faster i log out right now the better and put SWTOR BEHIND me for a long while and hope it gets fixed

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged camel's back, final straw, HHH, imbalance, pvp, rage, star wars sucks, Star Wars: The Old Republic
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Why I Can’t Stand Conservatives

Jan04
2012
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

They all look like the old, bald, rich white dudes that have either fired me, laid me off, called the cops on me for smoking weed, or tried to come on to me in a bathroom.

How much for 15 minutes in the back of my Lincoln?

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Conservative, Election 2012, gay republicans, presidential candidates, rich white men, Romney
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The Final Straw-SW:TOR

Jan03
2012
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

 

The final straw | Today , 04:29 PM
Bought this game to play with my kid. His computer meets the specs yet it crashes to desktop, then the final straw.
Bought another copy to duel box only to find out you CANT duel box……amazing …..I was so mad I deleted this game on my computer and smashed the cd’s!

Fail Bioware….you didnt lose one sub a few days ago you just lost 3, congrats!

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged crash to desktop, dual box, HHH, play with my kids excuse, rage, Star Wars: The Old Republic
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NASA Fed Up With 2012 Morons, Goes Big

Dec31
2011
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

I love it. It seems that NASA gets just as pissed off at the idiots spamming Facebook with 2012 doomsday posts and issues an asteroid-sized smackdown to the simpletons.

this is bad ass!

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

 
Much like Y2K, 2012 has been analyzed and the science of the end of the Earth thoroughly studied. Contrary to some of the common beliefs out there, the science behind the end of the world quickly unravels when pinned down to the 2012 timeline. Below, NASA Scientists answer several questions that we’re frequently asked regarding 2012.

Question (Q): Are there any threats to the Earth in 2012? Many Internet websites say the world will end in December 2012.
Answer (A): Nothing bad will happen to the Earth in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than 4 billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012.

Q: What is the origin of the prediction that the world will end in 2012?
A: The story started with claims that Nibiru, a supposed planet discovered by the Sumerians, is headed toward Earth. This catastrophe was initially predicted for May 2003, but when nothing happened the doomsday date was moved forward to December 2012. Then these two fables were linked to the end of one of the cycles in the ancient Mayan calendar at the winter solstice in 2012 — hence the predicted doomsday date of December 21, 2012.

Q: Does the Mayan calendar end in December 2012?
A: Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period but then — just as your calendar begins again on January 1 — another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged 2012, Al Qaeda, armageddon, doomsday, hysteria, Iran, NASA, pseudoscience, survival, Y2K
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Royal Flush of Forever Alone -World of Warcraft

Dec26
2011
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

Look, sir: a loser.

 

After 369 days, 19 hours, and six minutes of play time I have a complete set of 85s. Times are deceiving as I played both sets after reaching max level so it can be done a lot quicker if that’s what you want to do. My Alliance set has been played 207 days, 14 hours, and 0 minutes. My Horde set 162 days, 5 hours, and six minutes.

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Biggest Loser, forever alone, full set of 85s, World of Warcraft
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Slapped In The Face: SWTOR

Dec26
2011
Leave a Comment Written by Painkiller

Ok, we’re about a week in to release and the QQ is really starting to flow.

Meet EclipseUn. He’s very disappointed the game is what Bioware has said it was going to be for the last 4 years.

EclipseUn's Avatar</p>
<p>
EclipseUn

Joined: Jun 2009

I’ve waited for this game for so long and have followed it since the day it was announced. Id have dreams about what the game would be like and made plans for what my character’s name would be and stuff well before we even had a video. Many years later finally my dream game comes out and I feel like I’ve been SLAPPED IN THE *********** FACE

Don’t get me wrong; this game just got released, and has many awesome points(as well as fail points)

  1. Instancing
    Seriously, What the hell is up with this? I recall them saying instancing was only for launch and on origin worlds but you can go DAYS without seeing another player.
  2. Lack of chat bubble option
    They are needed for many reasons; such as being able to see who is saying what easily; You really screwed RP players with that. Its awkward RPing or chating with a group of people you’re standing around; this makes /say & /yell useless. There are many threads on this matter so I don’t need to explain why chat bubbles are vital without dragging on
  3. Not being able to explore
    I know this isn’t a sandbox but isn’t WoW a theme park also? I certainly never felt confined in WoW, but in SWTOR it literially like all you can do is go forward and back. It’s like playing a Sonic the Hedgehog game or The Force Unleashed; It’s basically “If you wanna progress GO FORWARD!! if you want to go back to something then press the down arrow key =D!!”
  4. The First ‘M’ in MMORPG
    Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. SWTOR is more like KOTOR with an online function. I’ve seen Nintendo DS games with the same functions as this- You need help during your game? Go online using wifi and get help! Games like Pokemon Mystery Dungeon utilize features like having help during your story line quest; and they certainly aren’t MMORPGs
  5. Freedom
    Need I say more? We are on a set path that BioWare set up for us to complete the game so we can reroll and shut up for 1600+ hours
  6. Heroic and Flash Points are pure win and EPIC
    Just wish it was possible to find a group to do them. Finding a group in this instanced game is a task and many more would agree. This is a very anti-social and desolate universe I see? It makes you want to spam General Chat until someone even answers(If you’re lucky enough to be on a planet with people)

Excuse me for any typos I may have made, and no I don’t hate the game- It just has so much potential and can be AMAZING if only a few tweaks were made.

This game is a like a child who has the potential to get straight A’s in school but refuses to due to whatever reason.

And to all the “Don’t play the game than no one is forcing you“; Yes I am being forced to play-Mentally at least; Why & How? Because I paid for the game, Waited years for this game, bought a new rig for this game, If I simply rage and quit i’ll be the loser in the end; Plus the game is actually GREAT; these missing features just PISS me off because again this game has so much potential.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged disappointment, holy shit this guy is disgusting, QQ, slap in the face, star wars sucks, Star Wars: The Old Republic
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Sith Goes On Rampage In A Toys R Us

Dec15
2011
3 Comments Written by Painkiller

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/12/portland_police_arrest_man_aft_1.html

Police arrested a man who allegedly assaulted three people with a blue light saber at a Hayden Island Toys R Us Wednesday night.

A 9-1-1 caller reported the incident about 9:50 p.m. and said the man was inside the store, 1800 Jantzen Beach Center, swinging the “Star Wars” weapon of choice at customers, said Sgt. Pete Simpson, a spokesman for the Portland Police Bureau. While the caller was on the phone, the man then left the store — light saber in hand — and walked out to the parking lot.

Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn’t work.

Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber.

The officers finally arrested the man after grabbing him and pinning him to the ground. The suspect, identified only as a 33-year-old Hillsboro man, was treated by medics at the scene and taken to an area hospital for a mental evaluation. He faces “several criminal charges” after he is evaluated, Simpson said.

Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

What a pimp.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged lightsaber, Sith, Star Wars: The Old Republic, Toys R Us
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Gamepro Magazine To Shut Down :(

Dec01
2011
2 Comments Written by Painkiller

http://www.industrygamers.com/news/gamepro-is-dead/

The year: 1989.

The place: Toys R Us, Beechnut and 59-Houston, Texas.

At the end of the checkout, as I am leaving the store with my mom, newly purchased NES game in hand, I happened to see a magazine with some bad ass dudes on the cover. It was free, I grabbed it.

so bad ass

Here was a world of secret codes, Protips, and shit that I never had any clue about. RIP, you helped a little nerd ‘triple my scores’ and I’ll never forget it.

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged extreme nerdiness, forever alone, Gamepro, magazine, nostalgia, RIP, shutting down
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Activision CEO Disses SW:TOR, Thinks George Lucas Is Greedy

Nov30
2011
4 Comments Written by Painkiller

I think he mad cuz scared.

 

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2011/11/activision-ceo-star-wars-the-old-republic-may-not-make-ea-any-money.ars

 

Star Wars: The Old Republic will soon become the latest in a long line of online games attempting to tackle the behemoth that is World of Warcraft, but Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick doesn’t seem too worried. In fact, he believes that The Old Republic may not even be profitable for EA.

During the recent Reuters Media Summit, Kotick reportedly questioned whether or not the much-hyped Star Wars MMO would be able to steal subscribers from WoW. He also explained that due to the licensing fees for the Star Wars name, which is owned by LucasArts, he’s unclear how profitable the game will be.

“Lucas is going to be the principal beneficiary of the success of Star Wars,” Kotick explained at the event. “We’ve been in business with Lucas for a long time and the economics will always accrue to the benefit of Lucas, so I don’t really understand how the economics work for Electronic Arts. If you look at the history of the people investing in an MMO and achieving success, it’s a small number.”

Earlier this year, EA CEO John Riccitiello revealed in an earnings call that the game would be “substantially profitable” with just 500,000 subscribers. By comparison, WoW currently has more than 10 million subscribers.

EA has reportedly spent upwards of $100 million on the development of The Old Republic. The game was originally announced in 2008 and is set to launch on December 20.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Activision, Bobby Kotick, Star Wars: The Old Republic, vs, will swtor kill wow, World of Warcraft
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Season’s Greetings!

Nov29
2011
2 Comments Written by Ustaiden

 

 

 

 

O Holy Nightringtone

 

 

 

For the second year running.  It’s time to get in the spirit!

 

Respect http://mattmulholland.com/

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged appeal to gayness, Matt Mullholland, season's greeting
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SW:TOR Beta Review-MMO Vet Takes It To The House

Nov29
2011
3 Comments Written by Painkiller

Biggest 40 year old virgin goes balls deep and lets his MMO lineage hang all over Bioware’s face. Let us not pass up the part where he didn’t even level past 12.

I’m ashamed to share a demographic with this guy.

 

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santropez

Joined: Jul 2011
MMO’ing since 1996. Here are my thoughts… | Today , 09:10 PM
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he first 3d MMO I played was Meridian 59 in 1996. I’ve been playing them ever since. My list of MMO’s is 33 games deep since 1996. I’ve stated that so that it’s clear about my history with this genre. I don’t consider myself an expert, but I have been around the block quite a few times. I’ve seen games succeed, I’ve seen them fail, I’ve been “wow’ed” and I’ve been let down, I’ve been drawn in, and left feeling “meh”.After this beta weekend I’m really worried about this game. Beyond the voice acting, I really was not that impressed.Pro’s:

Voice Acting:

Very nice, it’s what I’ve long wanted in an MMO. Voice acting that last beyond the first newbie areas of the game.

Primary Concerns:

The World:

Very themepark, very narrow, linear. It feels like the game is almost on rails and you have to follow a set course or have nothing to do. Even if it’s unfair, I have to compare it to SWG (pre CU). When that game first came out, it really made you feel like you were in the Star Wars universe, I don’t get that feeling here (yet). It feels small. Now i’m not sure you can fix this as it’s a core design concept, but it’s just how I feel about the world as a whole (so far).

Combat/Skills:

I tried every class (except Inquisitor) up to level 11-12 so I could try out all of the specialty classes. I could not find one I really liked.

The Sith Warrior felt like my champion in Rift, spam one attack until you get enough rage (combo points), then hit another to unleash that rage, but keep watching out for a reactive skill that you can pop on a dodge/parry/crit/etc as it becomes active. It seemed like the same thing I already had with Rift, but with a different skin. I wanted something special, something that felt special to Star Wars.

The other classes/specialties did not “wow” me much either. They all seemed to get less fun to play after I choose a specialty at level 10. The agent cover dynamic was cool, but felt a bit gimmicky, I would bug out and not be able to hit targets, roll unexpectedly (wrong key hit), I would get some green arrow where it looks like I should be able to take cover but I couldn’t, and once in cover, I could not change to a different position without exiting cover first. It just didn’t flow very well.

I actually enjoyed the Bounty Hunter until I hit level 10 and gained my specialty then had even more skills to fill up my hotbar, which leads me to…

Skill Bloat:

As I mentioned before, I found the classes most fun prior to level 10, when I only had the core skills of the classes. After picking a specialty it seemed to get really confusing. Was I to abandon the newbie skills for these new ones? Was I to use them together? I ended up with almost a hotbar and a 1/2 full of skills that were confusing and didn’t seem to really work well together. It was very frustrating trying to manage all of these skills.

Loooong Cooldowns:

I really loathe long cooldowns. I’m the type of player that specs away from skills that have long cooldowns. It really seemed that many of the skills were long cooldowns, 30 seconds, 1 minute, 3 minutes, etc. Now maybe these could be reduced with talents, but I’m not sure. I just usually build my characters away from being dependent on these long cooldown skills whenever possible. That’s just my playstyle. When looking at the talent trees, many of the top tier skills seemed to be long cooldown skills, just not my style.

Talent Trees:

Unimpressive. They really seemed to be all over the place in terms of what trees improved what skills. I really wanted just some passive improvements right out of the gate, but I kept getting hit with talents that would improve specific skills, that I would rarely use. I just felt the skill tree’s pretty uneventful. The only one I was semi-happy with were the Marauder an Agent Sniper, because all trees were DPS based, and all tree’s had at least 1 passive type talent that would just improve damage in general for my character.

Macros:

With the skill bloat, I really felt the need to macro. In Rift you have a the ability to macro, and it works well, you can’t macro the game away, but you can set what skills you want to use, in what priority, and have a few keys to manage vs. 15-20, it makes the game move faster and not make the player feel gimped that they cant get their fingers over to the 9 key fast enough prior to their reactive abilities window of use expiring.

No Combat Log:

It was hard to tell how I was doing on DPS. Was I spamming the wrong skills? Would I have done better on a group of mobs by using X skill prior to X? I really had no feedback and had to wing it. I have to admit, I have a love/hate relationship with parsers, they can take the fun out of the game, but the can improve it as well. When you look at Rift, using a parser can help you figure out what you’re doing wrong to do better as a team member, at least that’s how I use it.

Companions:

Not a big fan. I guess I don’t have to use them, but I’m sure I would be gimped without them. The fact that every class in the game is in essence a pet class is just not that appealing to me.

Summary:

I plan to buy the game, I but I fear that It won’t make it long unless some core things are fixed, and fixed fast. Eventually the glitz of the Star Wars IP will wear off and the guys like me, who have been playing MMO’s for years now, will see past the voice acting and cool cut-scenes, and bail. I wish this game and the dev team the best, I don’t like to see people fail, I’m just giving you my gut reaction from someone who’s played these games for years.

Again, I’m going to buy the game.
Again, I only played up to level 11-12 but on 6 different specialties.

I wish this game the best, and I hope my mind is changed after release once I dig in further.

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged closed beta, Meridian 59, MMO veteran, review, Star Wars: The Old Republic, stereotypes
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The Making of A Skrillex Track

Nov17
2011
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

Dubstep is sweeping the world, and we have been blessed to have an exclusive look at the making of an exquisite Skrillex remix!!!

Turn up the bass and grab your glow sticks!!

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged appeal to gayness, dubstep, exclusive, glowstick, remix, skrillex, track
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More Weekend Stress Test Feedback-SW:TOR

Nov14
2011
2 Comments Written by Painkiller

This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

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Commonhero

Thread title: Awsome beta scrubs

Joined: Oct 2011
I got my beta key and had set it up last night downloaded the whole game just to find out my trials up thanks alot you *********** ******* Good way to get ppl into your game.

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged closed beta, feedback, review, Star Wars: The Old Republic, y so mad
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Weekend Stress Test Condensed Feedback-SW:TOR

Nov14
2011
3 Comments Written by Painkiller

A quick perusal of the SWTOR test boards this morning has me chuckling.

There are lots of people praising Bioware, etc. but I’m not interested in them.

And my computer is not to blame. I’ve played and tested a lot of MMOs (WOW, WAR, RIFT, etc.) and NEVER had lagging and ridiculous loading times even REMOTELY approaching the frustration I have experienced this week-end…  It doesn’t help either that it takes way too long before you get your first companion (contrary to previous Bioware games where you would start getting companions almost from the start), thus begining from the start to build a “rapport” and enjoy relationship building..    Granted, I tested only 4 classes, and didn’t get pass level 10 on any of them. But I didn’t get that immersive experience I was expecting. After 10 hours of playing any character, in ANY game, you should be in love with your character and the story. It took less than a few minutes of play for me to fall in love with all other previous Bioware games…   So, with a genuine sadness in my heart, I have cancelled my pre-order for the game.

 

I got my ship last night before it ended and I immediately ran to the spaceport. Having been a fan of SW space combat forever, I couldn’t wait. Let me tell you how disappointed I was when I did my first (and only) mission. A track shooter? Honestly? Are we playing Sega Genesis? I knew not to expect a full on simulator like the Xwing Series, But even Rogue Squadron and THe lightspeed expansion to you know what gave you free range in a small area.

The way the Jedi Knight character is approached makes it hard to get drawn into the story. I’m a big SW fan and from my point of view, the Jedi Knight is a quasi mythical being capable of striking fear (and destroying) small armies. Unfortunately, in SWTOR, the Jedi Knight is the person who has a hard time dealing with 4 thugs on the street. Seriously?… Criminals everywhere seem less than impressed with Jedi, like somehow Jedi’s are just ho-hum. In the real SW Universe, a Jedi would only need to fart in order to kill 4 thugs but, moreover, only suicidal criminals would want to face a Jedi in a fight….

 

However, despite being able to quick travel and use the speeders (which only got from A->B?) I got fed up with all the walking. Surely jedi should be able to use force speed at least, or the game should just allow more quick travel/speeders on call.

 

For my Jedi Knight character (I only reached level 6), there was only a handsful of dialogues during the 5 or so hours. Compared to KOTOR, which I loved, this is just too few. Was I really unfortunate here, or is that the general frequency?

I’ll make another thread for the other issues I had, but just to mention other thoughts:

The hands are physically abnormally big.

This one is leet.

Okay, maybe this is just me.. and it may be from the countless amount of hours I have played WoW but..

Does the fact that we cant change our AC make anyone else mad? Im a pretty committed gamer but I do get bored.. very easily and the thought of having to go through this slow leveling process SWtOR provides just to play the alternative choice for the same starting class seems absolutely ridiculous.

I can play a game only for so long doing the same thing over and over before I get extremely tired of it. The portion that I have played so far has been great and this is my only complaint at this point, well maybe the no auto attack but we can save that for another thread.

You know I work 40+ hours a week and have a spouse I like to spend time with and this keeps my play, and others with the same situation, extremely limited. I plan on playing a jedi and a ranged class but I LOVE to tank some days, I like to heal as well, even dps is really fun but my self and others certainly will not be able to do this without the option of switching AC’s.

I just feel that its a horrible direction to try to take the game, I would like to hear other people opinions as well on this subject.

 

Nerdblast incoming:

So, I understand the wish to give players the right to choose. I think the ability to lean light or dark regardless of the faction is amazing. I think the ability to craft and customize lightsabers is really cool.

But I’m slightly quailing at the thought of people continually pissing all over my favorite fiction by doing things like naming their toon BenAfleck and running around the Jedi Temple with a red lightsaber.

I know not much can be done about the name thing, but c’mon Bioware. Red lightsabers are for the Sith, initially because the Sith used synthetic crystals that harmonized in the red spectrum, and later became a staple of the order as the Jedi strongly discouraged their use. Even if your Republic faction Jedi is leaning towards the Dark Side of things, running around with a red lightsaber is like painting a sign on your chest that says “I <3 DARTH MALEK AND EAT BABIES”.

Please, please limit red crystals to the Sith faction and blue crystals to the Republic faction.
Please?

 

The only thing I was a little disappointed with — less race options than were available in SWG. One way to make up for it is make a variety of options like skin tone, etc., so people who want their character to be near-human (like Chalactan) can represent a near-human race (I saw the wide variety of skin tones during charactr creation, good job!)

Chalactans are from prequel trilogy. I think there should be a character creation option for Chalactan mark of illumination, and also identifying markers for other near-human races (I’m sure there are plenty here who are better at Star Wars lore than me that know of more identifying markers for different races).

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Yeah sry guys i am though.

All bioware games have erotic scenes.

The black sceen is kind of lame. Sure its not a big deal but maybe we could give it out as DLC for selling only to mature players?

 

First I loved the story lines and the voice acting was great. That being said is it just too much? When playing other MMO’s i’m not a big fan of most of the “story line” with which you have to quest thru. Some quest lines I will go ahead and read because i find whatever i’m told to do unusual or damned funny. But now we are flooded with a ton of dialogue which is very time consuming. I’m not always in a hurry and liked alot of the story that i listened too. I did find myself dazing away at some of it and i watched football until it came time for me to pick a choice and then I just went for dark side points.
Am I the only one that thinks this?

There are a number of game mechanics that lend themselves to being rude and an obstruction to other people’s gameplay and enjoyment of the game. I do not understand why (after 12-15 years of experience), the industry has not realized that a gameplay system that a player can abuse to be hurtful to another player’s game time will be abused in that fashion. Some examples of the things I experienced just in the 45 minutes I was online today before I got fed up and logged off in frustration:

  1. People leaping into a group of mobs and using an AOE to tag them when I’m already engaged with them.
  2. People walking right up to my quest objective and stealing it while I fight the NPCs that guarded that objective (leaving me to wait 5 minutes or more on a respawn). This happened to me twice in 2 minutes on the same objective because I tried switching instances to avoid waiting because of that particular brand of ******.
  3. People stealing harvesting nodes when I’m fighting literally on top of it because I am engaged and can’t harvest it. This was after I got tired of people stealing my quests.
  4. People running up to a Quest NPC spawn and tagging it out from under my group which had been sitting there for 5-10 minutes waiting for it to respawn. This person’s computer rendered the NPC before anyone in the group had and apparently thought it was fair game because he has no moral fiber whatsoever (and then he had the mental idiocy to actually badmouth the group in general chat). Had this jackhole not stolen the NPC, we had room for him in the group and I had already targeted him for an invite.

Society is horrible now, but it seems that the MMO community is full of just outright scum. Game companies need to make this part of their methodology when designing systems. All of the above 4 instances could have been coded around and weren’t because the game designers fail to take into account that one thing that can make or break their game whether or not they do a good job on content. That one thing is simple… everyone knows it. People are ******es.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, I put forth that if there is not something done about the above items before release you will find that a good number of players simply will not renew past their first month. That is not a threat, it is a fact. Hell, after the experiences I had during the weekend stress test with the people that were invited, I was seriously tempted to cancel my CE pre-order and give up online games in whole. Games are meant to be fun and stress relieving. I felt more stressed after this weekend than the servers and I didn’t even get to play that often because of the queues and server restarts.

Bioware, do something to tweak your systems to make it as close to impossible as you can for another player to ruin my experience (and that of other players). If you don’t, you risk a loss of revenue – and I am not just talking about mine.

That is my feedback and I hope Bioware does something based on it.

 

There are just way too many quests. I have played a few of the classes and honestly it’s starting to feel like a chore with all the quests. The worst part is you pick one up, and then two more pop up to be picked up. I feel like more there should be more focus put on the class quests and less on the side stuff. The class quests should reward more XP too. I’m sorry but I just don’t feel like a hero when I get a quest to kill some creature in a mountain and break its eggs.

 

Disclaimer: I will not be playing at launch; I have canceled my pre-orders, uninstalled the game, and will not be testing further. This post is MY OPINION and the reasons that I WILL NOT BE PLAYING; so for all you trolls out there, go cry somewhere else because I don’t care.

First of all, I have been in beta for OVER a year now, I have seen the good, the bad, and the really bad. I have played every class 30+ and in the Case of the Operator, Assassin, and Warrior I have played to 50. This game was my Star Wars wet dream! But sadly I don’t feel that this game is for me.

Let’s start with the fact that with all of the recent changes to the game, the countless beta builds, and what not. I have seen a continual dumbing down of the game. With the iteration of the crafting/mod system 2 builds back, I was EXTREMELY happy with it, but apparently this was not casual enough so we get the crap we have now.
The space combat system, I originally though was a joke, I thought it was some serious April fools trickery gone wrong; now I know that it is a joke and whom ever came up with this system hates your company and wants you to fail. An 18 year old gaming system has no business in a new game, I hate it.

Combat, I initially thought this looked great, but after playing this for a few months it’s the same old whack-a-mole garbage that is in every other MMO to date! Where is the innovation? Am I seriously asking for too much expecting something NEW in a NEW game???

Voice acting, this is in my opinion the only redeeming quality for TOR, but after doing it once I hit space bar over and over and over to skip through the same old quests on every planet after the starter that I have done with every other toon. This is not something that will pull me back into the game like a traditional RPG would. Honestly I wish there was a way to turn it off after completing the quests once.

PVP: PVP is honestly the only thing that keeps me coming back to MMO’s and I have played countless rounds of TOR pvp. I leveled my operative to 50 doing nothing but pvp after the first planet. Many of the classes rely on positioning so much that ANY amount of lag can completely destroy your chances. The crowd control spam us ungodly to the point that if you have any 2 classes capable of CC you are screwed because no matter what you do there is no way to get a hit off. Taking the away the ability for guilds to queue was flat out STUPID, I don’t care how you say it, this destroys any chance of real team play. I don’t even care if teams can only queue against other teams, removing this is by far the dumbest thing you all have done to date. PVP is about team work, and taking away the ability to actually run with a team is beyond ridiculous. I actually enjoyed Huttball a lot when I was able to run with a group of friends.

Also, something needs to be done immediately with PVP campers; those idiots who log in and never leave the starting zone yet get rewarded with a win or a loss.

One of my biggest issues with the game is that I have absolutely no decision whatsoever as to what my character, does, goes, looks like, etc. The game is SO linear that you basically go from A-Z with almost 0 deviations. Every tier has a specific look for your toon, specific weapons, specific ships, and specific zones. Even WoW had multiple starting zones with multiple paths to follow… So did Everquest, these games are 6 years old and 12 years old respectively. To put it short this game should have been set in the current timeline as everyone is a Clone of a Clone! I thought that even the look of my toon would be different than everyone else’s because of the crafting system but I apparently misread that.

So to put it short, I fell this game offers nothing new to hardcore mmo players, I feel that all player choice has been stripped from the game, and that Bioware has ignored its Core players to cater to the casual crowd. I have given countless feedback on what would make the game better, but all of my hopes for the game are gone. This close to development, I am irritated by the fact that I have wasted the past year trying to make this a better game, but all I see is the next big F2P hit. This is not a new mmo it’s a rehash and dumbing down of everything that came before it, and I am not going to jump on another fail boat. Good luck, I hope that I am wrong and that I can come back to the game in a few months and see the epic that I was hoping for, but I doubt it. You can remove me from your beta program as I will no longer be testing, I feel that everything that I have said has fallen on deaf ears and am frustrated watching another game with massive potential fail (See conan, warhammer, sto, co, dcuo, etc, etc, etc… I tested each of those and called their failure during beta.)

 

 

Graphics, graphics, graphics.

Inexcusably weak graphics in this game. Jedi Knight II was more realistic and it came out 9 years ago!!!

I feel like I’m playing Lego Star Wars.

The storyline is good, but the weak graphics ruin this game for me big time!

Oh well, back to Skyrim for the rest of the weekend

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged beta, closed beta, extreme nerdiness, feedback, graphics, review, Star Wars: The Old Republic, weekend
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Gamer Stereotypes

Nov11
2011
10 Comments Written by Painkiller

Everyone knows these guys in one form or another. This will be a work in progress, updated whenever I feel like it.

 

 

  • The Old Guy
    This is a dude that grew up playing video games and hit his peak around 1998 in Team Fortress. He doggedly has continued to play games that he sucks at, thinking that he can still hang with the 14 year old losers.
  • The Punk
    A high school aged kid that is really good and knows it. He constantly talks about how great he is and there’s nothing you can say about it because you’re old and slow and you both know it.
  • The Loremaster
    This dude knows every fucking thing about the story of whatever game you’re playing. Try not to talk to him.
  • The Guy With A Ton of Shit Going On In Real Life
    The poor bastard. His wife is pregnant, he’s behind on his mortgage, he’s working 70 hours a week. Despite all this, he still wants to play games as much as possible. This results in loads of AFKs, hilarious arguments overheard on Vent, and the eventual dissolution of his marriage.
  • The Dude With Nothing Going On In Real Life
    He’s still in college, despite being almost 30. He lives at home or in a dumpy apartment with his girlfriend, who also games. Still retains most of his skills at games because that’s all he’s done since high school.
  • The Guy On Disability
    He hurt himself 15 years ago and plays games all day. Likes to complain about his various aches and pains while leveling every class in the game to max and having every achievement. Plays female characters.
  • The Father/Son Team
    Sickeningly plays together all the time. Father passes up on all loot so his son gets it. Father always goes to bat for son, especially when son instigates guild drama or is accused of ninjaing, etc. Usually end up in their own two man guild and wonder wtf happened.
  • The Beta Tester
    Has tested every game since UO from 1st phase closed beta to release. If he could decorate himself with all his beta accomplishments, he’d look like a WWII vet with a chest full of medals and ribbons. Plays his game of the moment to the utmost, ripping through content because he’s already done it all 10 times during the beta. Bitches and moans about lack of content at endgame, goes to test the next big thing. Gets back in contact with you every couple of years to let you know about this ‘bad ass game’ that’s coming out in 2025.
  • The Cigarette Smoking Man
    AFKs to smoke all the time, sounds like Barry White on Vent.
  • The Weed Smoking Man
    AFKs to smoke weed all the time, sounds like Wooderson on Vent. A lot worse player than the Cigarette Smoking Man, but he’s more fun to be around.
  • The Black Guy
    Everyone finds out he’s black when he takes offense to one of the youngsters dropping n-bombs left and right. Gets tons of loot and shit in the next couple weeks.
  • The *insert minority* Guy
    Speaks with an accent. Great player, great guy, he’s just the only one.
  • The Guy That Refuses To Use Vent
    Boycotts Ventrilo because Roger Wilco is a ‘superior product’ and he ‘doesn’t see the need to use voice’. Types 40 words per minute.
  • The Noob (young)
    Has never played this type of game before. Exists in a state of perpetual wonder and awe. Very idealistic and wants to experience everything the game has to offer. Becomes a Rager of the worst kind in 2 or 3 days.
  • The Noob (old)
    For whatever reason, whether a child or acquaintance’s referral, starts playing at age 40. Completely lost, never stops being lost. A game company’s most profitable customer because they buy a 5 year subscription and stop playing in disgust and bewilderment after a week.
  • The Rager
    One of the most identifiable stereotypes. Through a combination of hormones, lack of sex, bad manners, and being raised by a single mother, this guy plays games just so his empty heart can be tricked into feeling the only emotion that is left to him; anger. Strong possibility of being the younger half of the Father/Son team.
  • The Console Gamer
    Ventures off of his couch to the comfort of a recliner in search of a ‘more challenging gaming experience’. Finds out all his ‘skillz’ headshotting middle schoolers in Halo equates to shit. Adapts quickly, but goes back to play Kingdom Hearts because he can’t deal with not having a triangle button.
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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged extreme nerdiness, gaming, list, rage, stereotypes
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Harold & Kumar’s Lost Opportunity

Nov07
2011
3 Comments Written by Painkiller

This is a real downer, man. Instead of making a movie that would transcend color and creed and lift the consciousness of every person on the planet, they choose to release a stale, unfunny, gag-based piece of 3D shit that nobody gives a fuck about.

Read it and weep.

The original idea was going to be:

… Harold & Kumar and the Legend of Eazy-E’s Stash. In this movie, Harold and Kumar find out about an amazing bag of weed that once belonged to Eazy-E in the early nineties. Before he died, Eazy and one of his top hoes hid the bag somewhere in the United States and left clues to its whereabouts within famous rap lyrics. (Kinda like the dollar bill in National Treasure.) … Alas, it turned out that the logistics of getting the rights to Eazy-E’s estate were more challenging than distributing a holiday film.

 

Now, I’m no movie buff, nor do I partake in debates about ‘movies as art’ or any of that pretentious shit.  I can state unequivocally that “Harold & Kumar and the Legend of Eazy-E’s Stash” would have been far superior to this rehashed bullshit that is coming out.

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged 3D, Christmas, Compton, drugs, Eazy E, epic movie, Harold & Kumar, movie, real muthafuckin Gs, stash, weed
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The Power Of The Dark Side

Nov03
2011
2 Comments Written by Painkiller

This guy (who we probably have played games with before) went big and showed his domineering Thai wife how a Sith gets even.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2056923/Rickie-la-Touche-choked-Thai-bride-Pornpilai-Srisroy-destroyed-Star-Wars-toys.html

 

A Star Wars fanatic choked his Thai bride to death after she destroyed his prized collection of toys.

Rickie La Touche, 30, said his wife had damaged his treasured Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker memorabilia which he had been collecting since he was a child.

During a subsequent row he suffocated Pornpilai Srisroy, 28, before running off to his mother’s house to tell her what he had done.

The mother-of-one was later discovered dead on the couple’s bed covered with a duvet and pillow in Leigh, Greater Manchester.

He was jailed for life with a minimum term of 12 years yesterday after a jury found him guilty of murder. He had admitted manslaughter.

yo brah can i get a swtor beta invite?

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged goin big, memorabilia, murder, pinoy, real life issues, star wars, Star Wars: The Old Republic, toys
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Brothers In Arms-World of Warcraft

Nov02
2011
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

lil lad loves all his pals

 

Congrats on the world first, Coleslaw!

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged achievements, forever alone, world first, World of Warcraft
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Halloween Candy

Nov01
2011
1 Comment Written by Painkiller

Some dude on a forum I use got pissed off when I said that he and all his friends are idiots for not allowing their kids to eat homemade treats they receive for Halloween.

Enjoy!

(ed. I have redacted all my personal information, but it was all correct)

Him: I’m sure you could find more productive use of your time then trolling/flaming.

Me: Are you a mod?

Him: No Mr. ***** I am not but they will get to your message in due time. In the meantime spend some time with your wife ******.

Me: lol oh no!!!!

Him:What’s wrong? Your wasting time on the forums instead of planning your 12 anniversary next month? Did you miss a Gunnison High reunion? *****   **** Drive has an issue? ***** or ***** call you?

Me: omg i am so freaked out now????!!!!! what do i do???

Him: You eat the 20 pizza’s you get for dinner. :)

Me: Nice, I’ll do that! And I’ll continue to own you on the forums.

Him: Is that what you tell yourself? Really? ROFL

Me: No different than you being a huge fag and internet stalking me lol. Not the first time I’ve had an admirer though, so do whatever you like bro.

 

At this point, I get a message from an admin that a post of mine  has been reported for blatant flaming/trolling, this dude is going through my thousands of posts flagging them for moderation.

Him: You enjoy spending a few minutes trying to ‘own’ people online and I use the same time and play on Google. To each their own.

Me: As I said, no different. Except I’m not as gay.

Him: Really name calling when backed into a corner is your way of ‘owning’ someone online? Man up and just get even trying to ‘own’ me online or try to do the same thing to me. Your 32 for #@$%s sake so grow up from elementary school name calling. You’ve got 10000% chance that that does nothing to anyone online. It’s very entertaining though!

Me: Backed into a corner? Don’t flatter yourself, son. I could give a fuck about who you are in ‘real life’. I also could not care less that my ‘name calling’ is ineffectual, as it is quite gay and teenagerish to do the whole “lol i know who u are in rl” routine.

Like I said earlier, I’ve had many admirers throughout the years. If jacking off to my information gets you going, then by all means continue to do so! I promise you that the entertainment gleaned from watching you grasp is worth every second of it.

Him: Reverse psychology will get you no where nor will discounting facts given to you by calling the process by which those facts were obtained gay/teenish. Valiant effort. :)

FYI: That stuff was found long ago. I did 0 google searches today in your honor so don’t flatter yourself. We joke about keeping a file on dvd but who knows…..

Me: My ‘valiant effort’ was nothing more than a vacuous statement made to continue an already dead conversation. Not sure what else you’re trying to prove, but your own ‘valiant effort’ was good for a brief interlude of fun on a boring Tuesday.

As far as your running log, that is pretty creepy.

Him: It’s a Halloween discussion it’s suppose to be creepy as $%^#. :)

Me: You are fulfilling that requirement most admirably.

About this time,  a throwaway email address I use gets like 100 emails from various US agencies. This guy is pretty mad!

I haven’t heard anything else from this guy, but if there are no posts from me for a couple days, call the police.


 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized - Tagged Craigslist Killer, creepy internet guy, goin big, internet detective, real life issues, stalker
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